My youngest son got to meet his daughter on May 14th of this year. He’ll be thirty on the 16th of June, so it really was about time. Bringing a life into this world is a miracle and for me, this was extra special: I finally got my girl!
I raised three boys. Well, I am not actually certain I raised them. I loved them. I fed them. I yelled at them when they didn’t do things my way. But ultimately, each of us has to take on the growing-up bit ourselves, or it just doesn’t happen. Thankfully, by thirty, each of my boys had reached manhood and was pretty happy.
I ‘fell’ pregnant at 20, and gave birth a miraculous six months after I was married. ‘Fell’ pregnant. That is what the Ozzi’s call it. Like getting pregnant is not actually something you do and take responsibility for; you just fall in… like a puddle.
It isn’t though.. a puddle I mean. Being responsible for another human being is the most amazing experience that life offers. To be truly happy and fulfilled, we need to be responsible for ourselves and those around us. Responsibility, when done properly, actually feels a lot more like chocolate dipped ice cream than the shackles many people make it out to be!
This little pink package is a gift, but she doesn’t make me a first-time gramma. That spot will always be reserved for Adam, whose mom ‘fell’ pregnant while her and my oldest son, lived in a co-ed dorm during their first year of college. They were good friends, but not really dating; I get that. They both took responsibility for themselves and each other and now Adam has a little brother, two great dads, lots of grammas and everyone is happy.
My youngest hasn’t married yet either. He and his girlfriend (long time friend, lover, partner) saw no need to get married until they had a child. “Why get married mom? We don’t have kids.” And they didn’t ‘fall’ pregnant; they worked hard at it! So now with Abby in tow, we will hopefully head to Cuba in November for a wedding: makes sense.
My middle son got married last summer. It was a beautiful wedding, set in the Rocky Mountains in Canada where they live. The bride wore a traditional gown and looked absolutely radient. The groom and bridal party (ten of them!) looked terrific, as did I, squeezed into an actual dress for the first time in .. well.. a very long time. The happy couple have no children yet, but our fingers are crossed and no matter what the future holds, are already a family.
People are all different and every relationship, be it with partners or spouses, parents, siblings, children, whatever, will have its unique recipe for happiness, the greatest ingredient being reponsibility as it pushes you into territory you otherwise don't get to be. I am so glad I live in a time when this is accepted; for the most part.
I still get asked dumb questions at the bank.
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