Vasi got a new tv

I got an email from a fellow who was really lonely and looking for companionship.. mine if I was interested..  I responded that I had posted my resume to that particular site looking for a job, not a relationship: but I do feel badly for him.. and I do get it.

I've been lonely.

A plane crashed.. one that I rode a few time, from Bejing to KL: they are currently searching for over 200 people.. not expecting to find any of them alive.  It would have been absolutely terrifying to be trapped inside a plane spiraling down..

I've thought about that as I cross the ocean so quickly, and so often.

There is always something going on, and this week I suspended one of my students.. she needed to be suspended, but that doesn't make it any easier.  She is an unhappy little girl.  I don't have the skills or the power to change that.  There is nothing tangible that we can just 'fix'..

The fact is, Life is hard.

People come into our lives.. and then they are gone.

Shit happens.  Stuff we can't control..

I am not exactly sure I knew this before.  Or.. at least.. realized it wasn't just me that sometimes had a tough time.  But it isn't just me.. it is life.  And most people have it a lot harder than I do.  What is it that makes it so tough?

I think it is the speed with which it passes..  What happens to .. time? Where does it go?  Literally. How can we look at pictures of things which are gone?  How can they be real when they don't exist?

It is the people that filled it.. my sister.. my dad.. my grandma......  so many friends.. uncles, aunts.. cousins.  How can they be so much a part of my life and then... gone?

It is the pain which some people have to live with.. physical, mental.. constant.

It is Fear.. fear of being found out.. Like my hair dresser in Oman: worried about what could happen if she got caught doing my hair.

Fear of being hurt.. by a family member or a stranger.. a sexual assault.  Fear of being beaten.. or being the one being beaten.  I look around at the Indigenous people in Darwin and I can see it in their eyes.. in the bandaids they wear and the crutches they use to get around.  I hear them yelling.. fighting and NOT supporting each other.

I am not saying it is not worth it.

My naturopath in Salalah said: "You Canadians.. you see life as a gift.  To us Indians, it is a burden we must bear"

And we do.  And we should.  And we must.

I love that I drive a Troop Carrier.. it is a very cool machine.  I love that I need it: to cross the river crossings when the 'wet' delivers in full force.

I love that I have an awesome job in a very cool place.. one with kangaroos, crocodiles and sunshine.

I love that I have the funds to do pretty much as I please.

I love that I have three awesome boys, grand kids, sisters and brothers, neices and nephews.. real frinds.

I love my Vasi.

I love my life.

I love swimming and teaching and good food.

I love a cold beer and the freedom to drink it when and where I want.

I love that Vasi got a new 40" tv..
Our house is pretty bare.. and very basic.. but.. we have a great tv.

Life is awesome..
But it is hard.  I am not sure I knew that before.
Or maybe I knew, but also realized that focusing on the crappy stuff was not the best way to spend my time.

What to say to people who feel they are carrying such a heavy load?
Snap out of it!  Life is a gift!
Give yourself a little something.. like maybe a big screen tv.. and watch Castle.  Works for us!